Arty at Farm Camp
by Mydnyght Owl
Summary: Groans...sequel to Gothic Academy. Artemis Fowl and friends at farm camp. Arty at a farm, with horseriding, stall mucking, and CHICKENS!
1. Farm Camp

**THE CRONICLES OF RAVY AND ARTY**

**The Sequel**

**Authors Note: **No thanks to those who didn't review, I'm starting the sequel. Artemis Fowl at Farm Camp. When will Arty actually attend Gothic University, we may never know.

**Gothic Academy and/or University**

Artemis Fowl the second was exceedingly confused. He had been at this school 6 days, not including the World Destruction Tour, and now…

"**I'M LEAVING!"**

"Not necessarily _leaving,_ just going to Camp for… what? 5days…." replied Raven.

"We're going to camp!" cried Bob.

Then the chicken obsessive boy continued packing his chickens in a crate.

Artemis pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Bob.

"And _why _might I ask are you allowing Bob to bring his repulsive chickens?"

"Because…. Instead of rejecting native animals... it's, ah…. Encouraged?" said Rose.

"Encouraged?" asked Artemis disbelievingly. "What camp exactly are we going to?"

Raven coughed into her hand, and that cough sounded an awful lot like….

"**FARM CAMP!"** screamed Artemis.

Yeah, like that.

Some how, I have actually no idea as to how, but _somehow,_ they had managed to get Artemis to agree to come.

But he still wasn't all that happy about it.

"So, you're telling me, that I have to do chores around a putrid farm, such as chicken feeding-"

"That's why I'm going!" shouted Bob.

"-pig feeding, horse washing, cow milking, and mucking out horse stalls?"

"Well, you'll also have to muck out cow stalls as well."

"And I have to do this… why?"

"Because it'll be fun."

"Oh. My. God. "

"You'll also get to go swimming, and horseback riding, and blue berry picking, and-"

"I'm going to die there, aren't I?"

"Probably."

Once everyone who was going, was packed, Butler began to drive them to camp.

Raven, Fell, Hannah, Bob, Neko, Rose, Artemis (obviously), and Evil were going.

"By the way," said Raven as they pulled into the Farm, "We're going to meet a new person who as soon as camp is over, will be attending GA."

"Alright… and who would that be?"

"Uh…. I didn't actually get a name out of her. Just…. You know what? Just call her Dude."

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not."

"You do realize people have names for a reason."

"Blah blah blah blah."

They all climbed out of the car and immediately Artemis groaned.

It was a farm alright. They in a driveway that was in the shape of a circle with a garden in the middle, next to a small house on their left, while on their right was a barn with many fields beyond it. Plus he could smell the cows.

"Oh dear."

Suddenly, a girl came running up to them.

"Hi! I'm Dude."

Artemis made a bad choice there and then. A choice he was reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaally going to regret.

"Dude? Do you really expect me to call you _Dude?"_

"Well… yes?"

"Not a chance. How about I call you Dudette?"

There was a deadly silence.

"Or how about you DON'T call me that and I don't through cow dung at your head with a pitchfork?"

But Artemis wasn't listening anymore. But if he had been, he could have saved him self a few baths in the pond.

Dude narrowed her eyes and turned towards the two people coming out of the barn.

"Hello," said one of the women. "I'm Amelia, and this here is Maggie."

They shook hands with them.

"Okay," said Maggie. "You can put your stuff in the house, lunch is in an hour but first, there is a few rules we have to go over."

They all nodded.

"First of all, the animal's come first. Before we do anything else, we have to make sure the animals are taken care of. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Okay, another thing, if you are not doing a chore, you can wonder around the farm, but be extra careful around the horses. They're friendly animals, but they get spooked easily."

Amelia paused.

"That's about it. Now, if you'll come with me, it is time to feed the chickens."

They went down a small hill to a chicken coop, while naturally Bob went ballistic.

"CHICKENNNNNSSSS!" he cried.

Then he ran around throwing food at the chickens as they scattered.

Raven just shook her head and turned to Artemis.

"Just throw some grain at them."

Artemis reluctantly picked up a hand full of feed from the bucket, and dropped it on the ground by his feet.

They all ran towards him and started pecking at his feet.

"Raven… They're swarming!"

"I really don't overly care."

Afterwards Amelia brought them down to the horse's stalls.

There were already 2 girls down there giving them hey.

"Hi guys!" shouted the short, curly blonde haired one.

"Hi there, my names Amelia, and this is Tess," said the other, short one with long brown hair.

"You and the counselor are _both _named Amelia?" asked Artemis.

"This'll be confusing," said Neko.

"Well," said the big Amelia. "Today, for about an hour, you will get to ride horses around the garden. Now the horses names are: Sassy, the middle sized blackish brown one, who is also an x-race horse, will be ridden by Artemis. Now be careful with her, she's very temperamental."

"Greeeeaaaaaaat."

"Sam, the brown one with a black mane and one white hoof, will be ridden by Bob."

"Cooooooooooooool!"

"Fuera, the brown one with a white spot on his head, will be ridden by Amelia."

"Yes!"

"Swany, the white one, will be ridden by Tess. Saba is the copper hose, and will be ridden by Evil Eva. Rosa, the copper draft horse, will be ridden by Hannah."

"Rosa!" Hannah ran to her horse's stall.

"Shadow, the solid black one with reddish eyes, will, as always, be ridden by Raven."

"Cool."

"Zuma, the giant black horse, will be ridden by Neko. And 'Dude's' horse shall be T."

"T?" asked Dude.

"Yeah, T. Just T."

Dude shrugged. "Okay."

They each got their horse saddled up.

"Okay, Artemis," said Amelia. "You're going to be lead around first."

Artemis gulped.

**Authors Note: **What shall happen next? Will Artemis get bucked off? I can guarantee someone will in this story. Identitycrisis! I have honored your wishes. They'll be cleaning out the stalls next chapter. OOOOOOH!


	2. Horse back!

**Authors note: **Sorry for not updating. I just really didn't feel like writing. And sorry this chapters so short.

**Disclaimer by Foaly: **So is it my job or not, and am I going to be centaur again?

Rose: I'll consider it.

Artemis slowly got onto the horse, clinging on to the reins for dear life.

"You all right?" asked Amelia.

Artemis made a small frightened noise.

"You know, while on a horse, you have to loosen up. Horses communicate by body language. If your tense, then so is the horse."

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better."

"That's the spirit! Now I'm just going to lead you around the circle."

As Sassy (the horse incase you forgot) started to move, Artemis realized it wasn't so bad.

They lead him around the circle a few times, and then they let Artemis get off.

"You were doing really well. You're a fast learner. Now, I want you to lead Sassy into the barn- Oh come on, it's not hard," she added because of the look on Artemis's face. "When you get there, take off her saddle on the same side you put it on, that would be the left side, and start mucking out the stalls along with some of your friends."

As Artemis walked out of the barn he had just led Sassy into, he watched Hannah ride her horse.

….Which was currently acting el crazy.

The horse was galloping around the field and constantly trying to buck Hannah who was hanging onto the main off.

In the end the horse succeeded.

Hannah went flying into the wall to the side of Artemis narrowly missing him.

At that exact moment Raven came around the barn to get a pitchfork.

"Hey, Hannah."

Arty and Ravy both walked over to the stalls which were now currently vacant except for the people cleaning up the stalls.

"Hey Dudette, could I-"

He stopped dead.

Dude was glaring daggers at him.

"Uh….."

Dude suddenly flew the dung in her pitchfork at Artemis, which he ducked just in time.

"My name… is Dude. Call me otherwise, and face serious consequences. Got it?"

Artemis nodded.

"Gooood…."

Raven walked down stairs.

"Hey Raven," asked Artemis. "Why was Hannah's horse going crazy?"

"I can't say for sure, but I don't think Hannah's horse like werewolves."

"Figures."

They worked quietly….

Except for when some other kid showed up.

"Who are you?" asked Evil.

"Rickey. I'm just here to help."

He grabbed a pitchfork. He worked while singing-

"Llamallamallamallama

Llamallamallamallama

Llamallamallamallama

Moooooooo

Llamallamallamallama

Llamallamallamallama

Llamallamallama"

For those who want to know, that's actually is a song Rickey Dowd sung in class. He likes llamas.

"Llamas are scary…." Said Evil.

8

So, what do you think? Other than the obvious fact it's short and not much is in it.


	3. Stupid Things

This isn't Mydnyght Owl, this is her friend Raven typing up this chapter, cause she wont get of her lazy but and type!

Mydnyght Owl: (tied up in corner, gagged.) mmmmmmmmmmm!

R: Shut it! Well anyway I'm typing this chapter! Enjoy!

MO: mhmmhhm!

R: oh yeah, the disclaimer! Mydnyght doesn't own anything in here! Except for raven, and rose! Eoin Colfer, Rowling, and me own everything else!

* * *

chapter 3 Weird Happenings

After doing a bunch of menial chores, as artemis put it, the teens headed to the house for Lunch.

As Artemis followed Hannah, who was limping towards the house, he looked himself over. His hands had dirt and scratches on them from the chickens and such. His Dark green t-shirt, dark green sneakers, and dark green running pants were covered in dust. He had borrowed the clothes from Bob, who had told him they belong to his younger cousin, Larry.

Artemis grimaced and walked into the house, and watched a hilarious scene unfold. Evil, who had been taking off her shoes, was suddenly ambushed by a large furry black dog, which looked startlingly a lot like…..

" Hannah?" artemis gasped weakly, and looked outside, where it was weirdly dark out, ' great an eclipse.'

Raven then ran into the room and sighed. She grabbed Hannah and dragged her upstairs.

A few minutes later, Raven came back down grinning, " that's taken care of, lets Eat!" and with that she ran into the kitchen. Artemis shrugged and followed her.

* * *

Acouple minutes later artemis was seated and was currently gaping at the food on the table. "Grilled Cheese, with Peanut butter on it?"

Raven, fell, evil, and rose grinned stupidly, " Come on try it! It ROCKS!" the said at the same time and each grabbed a sandwich.

Artemis's stomach lurched. "Do I have to?" everyone nodded and without further ado, he grabbed a sandwich.

* * *

A hour Later, Everyone was in their rooms having a break. Artemis sighed as he left the room he shared with Bob and Neko. He was still amazed that he had liked the grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwich, he was even more amazed that he had had 2 more sandwiches after that.

He walked through the hallway and stopped at the room Fell and Raven shared. He opened the door To find Fell And Raven Sitting calmly on their beds, with laptops in their laps, while Hannah ran screaming around the room. She was a human again.

"Um, may I ask why?" Artemis stated, as he pointed at Hannah.

Fell looked at him and burst into laughter, falling onto the floor.

Raven grinned and said, " well it all started when us three got out our laptops, and went to a site called People post stories and stuff on it. We started to read this one called Trojan Horse. It was pretty cool until the end when…" raven stopped and busrt into Laughter.

Artemis rolled his eyes and picked uo the Laptop. He read aloud the verse that had cracked the others up;

_'Please, tell me I'm seeing things,' said Sirius in a mock-despairing tone to Remus. _

'_What?' Helen and Arion had gone to join the other three after the service, and they were talking together on the lawn. _

'_Please tell me I didn't just see Minerva kissing Hagrid.' _

_Remus and Vivian both gasped. _

'_You're making fun of me,' said Vivian crossly. 'That's ridiculous.' _

'_No,' Sirius protested, grinning. 'Down there by the big oak tree.' _

_Helen looked through the crowd. The silhouettes were unmistakeable._

Artemis finished reading it and said, " so what? Its Romance."

The Craziness stopped, Hannah stopped whimpering from underneath the bed, Fell got up from rolling around on the floor laughing, and Raven had a confused look in her eyes.

" What?" artemis asked, confused.

" have you never seen Harry Potter?" Fell replied.

" um, no should I have?"

" have you read any of the books?"

" No."

" wow, your're a deprived child." With that raven clapped her hands and one of the rooms walls disappeared, to reveal a giant TV. She whistled and the TV started to Play the 1st movie of Harry Potter.

Raven took a remote from her pocket and fast-forwarded to a part with a Giant, " That's Hagrid," she fast forwarded again to a part with an old Lady, "and that young Arty is minavera. Scary, ey?

* * *

What you think? 


	4. No Claira!

FARM CAMP

Artemis shook his head. His friends were insane. But we all knew that. The HP movies were okay, but back to being at camp….

They had all decided to go swimming in the pond.

"Be fore warned!" said Amelia, the younger one. "There's a snapping turtle in the pond!"

"Then why are we planning on swimming in it?

"Because," said Tess. "I you don't swim in the lily pads, you should be fine."

Nearly everyone was in the water by now. Everyone was calling Artemis to get in.

"Its _fine,_" said Raven.

"The snapping turtle isn't coming to get you!" shouted Rose.

Then they all went silent.

Artemis starred at them.

"What's wro- HEY!"

Somebody from behind had pushed him into the water.

Everyone started laughing at him.

"Who the hell-" he turned around in the water.

Their on the ground was Dude, laughing hysterically at him.

"That wasn't funny!" shouted Artemis.

"Yes it was!" said Neko.

Later on, everyone was out of the water, throwing sticks for the dog's, Sam, the black one, and Claira, the old grey dog, to fetch. Bob threw a stick into the lily pads for Claira to get.

They saw a bid shell rise out of the water following Claira before it sunk back down.

"Oh no! Claira! Forget the stick! Come back!" shouted Rose.

Claira turned around and started to swim back.

"Good Claira!" said Hannah.

Then Claira half way back to shore turned around and went back after the stick.

"No! Come back Claira!" shouted Evil.

Finally, Claira came back unharmed.

"That is one stupid dog," said Artemis.

By the way, this actually happened, Amelis, Hannah, Tess, Rose, Evil, and the farm animals do actually exist.

Finally they went back to the house to get changed.

**Thank you all who reviewed, How did you like my friends last chapter? This is Mydnyte Owl, or Rose, writing this chapter. Sorry it's short.**


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